This article first appeared in the Weekly Bujo Newsletter.

“The difference between comedy and horror is the music.”
― Jordan Peele

This week’s Weekly Reflection is written by Jessica, our Head of Community and Education.

I've been a fence sitter about parenthood for many years. I admire all the incredible commitment (and resources) required to be a good parent. Parenthood has represented a very tangible sense of loss (of time, my pursuits, autonomy, freedom, money, and sleep) with a reward that I can't truly imagine. They say, "people don't fear change, they fear loss," and this rings true for me.

However, being with my partner has drastically impacted my way of thinking. In contrast to my Worry Defaults, he looks at this life shift with acceptance. "It will be hard, and we will figure it out," he says. He is anchored in the belief in our capacity for resilience, resourcefulness, and adaptation to handle whatever comes.

This mindset permeates everything we've done together. Last year, we moved houses and I was complaining about how tiring and hard it was to pack and declutter everything. His reply sticks with me:

"Yeah it's work, but we have to do it regardless, so why begrudge the work?"

He accepted of the reality of the circumstance, and was just going to make it happen without the backdrop of additional complaint. I paused and asked myself, "Despite whether it’s true or not, is what I'm saying helpful?" No, it was not.

Since our words create our world, I was creating an unnecessarily whiny one. Our reality was that we were moving homes, and I had a choice in whether I was writing in the genre of drama or romantic comedy.