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Weaving our daily webs

This article first appeared in the Weekly Log newsletter.

"Every day is a journey, and the journey itself is home." - Matsuo Basho

There’s a yard behind this rental mountain house. Every morning, clouds rise from the valley. Dew shimmers on small sheet webs in the grass. Thousands of threads are woven into this ghostly cloth. By noon, the water will evaporate under the sun. By sunset, many of the webs themselves will be gone. So much effort and beauty rising and falling unnoticed.

I started thinking about my countless little daily efforts that go unnoticed. Doing the dishes, tidying my inbox, folding laundry, cleaning the counters… to what end? It’s a question that I’ve asked myself - and have been asked by others - a lot. I think it’s question the comes from the mistaken belief that there is some end.

Life isn’t a product, but a practice. Spiders weave their fading webs not for the future but for a future. They weave, wait, repair because that’s what it takes to live. Their webs often catch nothing, they get damaged, or totally destroyed. All of their efforts will disappear over time, and that’s totally natural.

We have cultivated a rather unnatural context of effort. Much of our effort has become commoditized and transactional. This is relatively new in our evolution as a species. We work for money. We workout for health. We learn for skills. We share for likes. We eat for enjoyment. This context causes suffering in three significant ways.

First, transactional efforts set expectations that are increasingly difficult to meet. The more we expect from what we do, the more likely we are to be disappointed. Be it career, relationships, travel, health, wealth, social media has set our expectations impossibly high in almost every dimension. When we compare our effort and results to the world, it often leaves us feeling chronically less than, disappointed, frustrated, bitter, demotivated, resentful.

Secondly, we do fewer things for their own sake. Focusing on outcomes often diminishes process. Doing the dishes to get them done isn’t fun. Doing the dishes while listening to a podcast, or to calm the kitchen space is enjoyable. 

Lastly, the “to what end” mindset can obscure the very answers your looking for, and they are hiding in plain sight.

When we simply stop doing these fleeting activities, the quality of our life plummets dramatically. Be it our homes, relationships, or health, what we don’t care for deteriorates. Not only this, but all that shimmers in your life today is the legacy of the countless strands - no matter how thin, thankless, or transient - you spun day after day after day. To what end? Look around. Everything you love in your life is resulted from countless forgotten efforts. Forgotten, not meaningless.

We often practice beating ourselves up for the things we got wrong. What if we practiced being grateful for the person who allowed you to enjoy a clean house, a healthy meal, a resilient relationship? It all took a lot of work, most of which is invisible to all but you.

By acknowledging our tiny efforts today, we create the conditions to have more trust, compassion, and even love for ourselves tomorrow. Though our efforts are fleeting, these qualities are timeless, and it’s much easier to practice life with someone you’re grateful for.

What is one thing you can do today, that would support you tomorrow?

Thank you for taking the time,

Ryder

2 Responses

Julie K

Julie K

November 18, 2024

This was so needed in this moment of my life. Thank you for articulating the fact that we do a lot of work for ourselves, and that we can appreciate the effort we put into our lives, effort that is sometimes invisible until we look at it. It’s a good reminder to be kinder and thankful to ourselves.

Rad

Rad

November 18, 2024

Wow. Very interesting article with non mainstream perspectives 👏🏼
Good job Ryder :)

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