This article first appeared in the Weekly Bujo Newsletter.
The team and I recently went out for a fancy steak dinner. We’re a fully distributed team, so it’s a rare treat for me for a variety of reasons. First, it adds a full dimension to everyone. As most of our interactions happen in 2D virtual space, many of our 3D physical idiosyncrasies go missing. It’s a dimension rich with unspoken communication, and one of the most inspiring.
When the waiter came to the table, our designer Petra ordered shrimp, smiling from ear to ear. I’ve rarely seen someone so excited about anything, let alone ordering food. She looked like she was about to blast out of her chair with anticipation. So much energy for such tiny crustaceans.
When the dish was served, the rest of us could not help but watch. As she started to eat, this usually wildly expressive person closed her eyes and went very still. Time slowed. Every bite was savored with such focused and joyful presence. She spent minutes on each shrimp. It was such a natural and powerful demonstration of what I struggle hard to embody, that it left me feeling both humbled and inspired.
We hear a lot about how “practicing gratitude” can be a powerful way to cultivate our well-being. The questions is: how exactly do we practice gratitude, especially when we may not feel it? Yes, writing things down is a great way to do this. Yet there is an important step that comes before that.
Gratitude is the awareness of the good in our life. It is a skill. That awareness can be developed by slowing down when we feel alive, connected, joyful, peaceful, and present in any given moment. How can we feel grateful without taking the time to feel, to savor, to fully experience the things to be grateful for?
Yes, taking time to smell the roses is not a new concept, but it’s rarely framed as an essential strategy for cultivating our well-being. Savoring is like going to the gym. Every time you slow down and resist any impatience, frustration, embarrassment, sadness, or even shame that may come with allowing yourself to savor, you expand your capacity for it.
So I leave you with this question: what can you savor this week?
If you can’t think of anything, then I invite you to pause when you find yourself enjoying something and simply slow down for that feeling. Be with it. Take an extra moment or two to be with that joy, peace, presence, flavor, sensation, kiss, and excitement longer than you usually would. Linger.
It’s not about trying to hold onto the feeling, either. That won’t work. The work here is to slow down to love something a moment longer before you speed up to the rest of your life. Every time we do this, we cultivate our capacity to witness, and participate in, a life to be grateful for.
May we all enjoy anything as much as Petra enjoys shrimp.
Nithya
October 13, 2024
Good one.