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Goals are Lighthouses

What are goals? We use goals to define where we want to be. So maybe goals are destinations. These destinations fuel our imagination with the promise of a better future: ”run a marathon” “buy a house” “get 10,000 followers.” ‘Promise’ being the operative word, because we can’t know for sure if they will deliver. These destinations are unfamiliar territory. Goals tend to be based on things we haven’t experienced yet, otherwise the goal wouldn’t be necessary. It’s not until we set sail that we begin the transition from imagination to reality. In other words, the day we set the goal, marks the furthest point from reality.


Reaching our destination will take time. In that time, we learn new things, our circumstances, and our priorities are likely to change. We aren’t who we were when we set out. As we draw closer, and the silhouette of reality begins to reveal itself, it no longer aligns with - or lives up to - our uninformed preconceptions. Our dogmatic relationship with goals suggests only two options: abandon ship, or keep going. I would like to suggest a third: change course.


By conceptualizing our goals as destinations, we limit our ability to succeed to a very specific predetermined outcomes. If we don’t lose x lbs, run a marathon, earn x dollars, then we’ve failed, we’re a failure. We condemn our goals, and ourselves, to living up to unrealistic expectations. So what can we do? Set goals without expectations.


Think of goals as lighthouses. Lighthouses serve as guides. They illuminate safe passage for ships at sea, preventing them from breaking apart on the same jagged cliffs on which they’re often built. They themselves are not destinations. They sprout from some rough patch of a much larger - more inviting - landmass undetected due our willful blindness. Redefining our goals as guides rather than destinations, takes the blinders off. It helps us shed our expectations, and allows us to take in the whole picture.


We often measure success by reaching some tiny un-informed point we plopped on the map of our life long ago. The target is small, and risk of failure is high. When goals are lighthouses, success is defined by simply showing up, by daily progress no matter how big or small. We’re no longer confining ourselves to some questionable target. This gives us latitude to grow and to explore. It allows us to update our goals based on what we learn, keeping them relevant. They continue to align with our changing needs, which keeps us motivated. It’s the difference between “run a marathon” vs “get healthy”, “get 10K followers” vs “create better content”, “become fluent in a language” vs “learn how to communicate better”. The emphasis is taken off the outcome, and placed where it should be, the process.


By all means, set specific goals. Build your brilliant lighthouses along the alluring shores of all the places you wish to explore. Just see them for what they are: concepts, ideas, mental landmarks we construct to prevent us from getting lost at sea as we make our way from where we are, to where we want to be. Like lighthouses, goals are only as good as what they allow you to see.

About the Author:

Ryder Carroll is the creator of the Bullet Journal. He's a Brooklyn-based digital product designer and art director.

6 Responses

CS Patterson

CS Patterson

January 15, 2024

Well said!

Una Wilson

Una Wilson

January 15, 2024

Great article – clear guidance as the lighthouses will retain their role as guides for goals rather than destinations. The emphasis will be on the process rather than the outcome just like bullet journals . Thank you . Happy new Year

Priscilla Anderson

Priscilla Anderson

January 15, 2024

What a great way to view them! That is really helpful – really that is how it should be because as we learn and grow it seems it could easily change.

Debbi McCracken

Debbi McCracken

January 15, 2024

Great, insightful sharing of the concept of lighthouses. My son and I visited Nova Scotia this past fall—we are from Las Vegas and San Diego, respectively. We drove along the coast on the “Lighthouse Road.” We saw about15 or so lighthouses (certainly not all of them!). It was interesting to note that not many were what we expected—smaller, locked up, no longer being used, as ships navigation methods changed over the years. One was so crowded, with tourists and lack of parking, it was difficult to get to see it. Your analogy is so apt.
These “lighthouse goals” changed as we went on this journey. Some were disappointing; we changed some of the destinations since they were too far out of our way; our expectations were too high, and even the perceived “best one” was difficult to see. As you said, the goal was not realistic, too finite, and the best part was my son and I journeying and talking and sharing our time together. Yes, the process is so much better!

Jim

Jim

January 15, 2024

The lighthouse article was extremely insightful. I’d love to take your course but I can’t afford it. I’ll keep looking for my lighthouse along my way.
Thank you
Jim Lanec

Colleen Wuchenich

Colleen Wuchenich

January 15, 2024

May I use this in my neighborhood newsletter?

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